If you're in a high conflict relationship, you need strategies that work...

... even if you don't want to (or can't) leave.

... even if the other person isn't cooperating.

... and even if you're stuck in a cycle of hurt, frustration, and overreactions.

You CAN fix it... or at least feel better in it.



Just to be clear, many of the words and actions causing the problems may not be yours. However, your reactions are contributing to it, and the way you feel about the relationship is creating anxiety and stress for you. And that is good news (honest!), because your reactions and feelings are the one part of the relationship you can change, without any cooperation at all from the other person.

You don’t have the power OR the responsibility to change anyone except the person inside your body. That should make you want to pop open some champagne, because that means you aren’t responsible for changing the other person, and you don’t need their cooperation to reclaim your power.

AND also... the way you show up can tansform the interactions. It's both/and. Get practical, applicable strategies in these three short podcast episodes I call "the Connection Cast."

I know what you're thinking...

  • How do I change my feelings and how I'm showing up when they make me SO MAD?

  • The relationship is always going to be this way, unless they change... right??

  • Is there another way to fix this besides leaving?

Get all those answers in the secret podcast!

So who am I, and why should you care?


I was in a difficult marriage for 19 years, and for most of it I felt unsafe, unseen, and full of anxiety. I felt like my whole life was a losing proposition, because no matter how hard I tried, I could do nothing right. Then something changed, and it wasn’t my husband.


It was me.

Here’s what happened.

One day in the car, my usual radio station was off the air, so I started scanning stations for something to listen to. I came across a woman who was telling the story of her marriage, and I was immediately captivated. She was describing my marriage, almost exactly.

For some reason, it had not occurred to me that there might be other marriages like mine.
As she was talking I was driving down the road with tears streaming down my face.
I felt so seen, like she somehow knew my situation.

And then she said the words that set my world spinning on its axis, never to recover.

“I realized I was in an abusive marriage, and that I couldn’t stay.”

No, I immediately thought. NO. I’m not in an abusive marriage! My marriage is just hard.
One day we’ll figure it out, and it will get better.

The trouble was, I knew that truth, and it felt like a punch to the gut that stole my breath away.
Now that I knew, I couldn’t go back.

Finally, I faced reality with the help of a coach and a support group. I started learning how to create a different conversation in my mind, which led to calmer reactions, which led to happier me.

It's now my privilege to coach other women through the most challenging relationships, and help them take their power back. I can't wait to meet you.